Alright mate?

Familiarity breeds contempt or so they say.  At GA Training we have often had a debate about when it is appropriate to use familiar terms like mate.

My own personal opinion is that no matter how friendly a customer appears to be you should never use the phrase mate as it is a little too familiar.

Some of our consultants have a slightly different opinion and believe that I am being overly fussy or stuffy and up tight.  They believe that it is occasionally appropriate to use the word mate if you have a) been repeatedly called mate by your customer or b) you are familiar enough with the customer that it is okay to use the word.

Taking each of those points in turn.  I personally totally disagree with point a) because just because you are being called mate doesn’t mean you should respond in kind.  If someone was calling you something else more offensive you would not think it appropriate to use the same word back to them.

On point b) this is a slightly grey area as many of our delegates will say “but if I don’t call the person mate they will think I am not mirroring them and I am being cold and unfriendly.”  In this case you have to use your own judgment however, I would always advise to avoid using the word mate wherever possible.

The use of the word mate is something that is almost exclusively reserved for use by male customer service advisors.  Female customer service advisors tend not to use the word at all, occasionally you may get called pet by a female advisor but very rarely will they use the word mate.

One of our clients summed it up perfectly for me when she said that she insists that whilst remaining friendly and approachable her customer service advisors were told never to use phrases like mate or buddy or pal.  The reason was that she wished her staff to always remain professional at all times and more importantly she said once you have used the word mate you have nowhere to go from there.

She said “if you think about it once you are on mate terms with the customer a major barrier has come down and it can then be difficult when you need to put your foot down for some reason or give some bad news.”

Of course this depends on the industry you are working in and there are certain sectors where using the word mate is so common and widespread that to use anything else would seem stuffy.  One such industry may be the automotive industry, such as tyre and exhaust fitters.  However one of our clients Merityre, a very successful business in the tyre fitting industry, have banned the use of the word mate completely.  For them it is not about becoming too pally with the customer it is more about giving the customer total respect at all times.

I will never forget one of my first uses of the word mate. I was around 14 and I saw my friend’s Dad in town, trying to be chummy and friendly I said “hi mate”.  The response I got surprised me a bit but it also showed me that to some people the word mate is far too familiar.

“I am not your mate Greg, I am your mate’s Father” he said in a rather unfriendly tone.

That certainly told me and put me firmly in my place!!